Alleluia! The Lord is risen!
The Lord is risen indeed! Alleluia!

After the days and weeks of Lent, we finally get to say the alleluias and to proclaim the resurrection.

But if you remember, the Gospel text from Easter Sunday is tentative, with the shocked and amazed women who expect to anoint a corpse, and instead find an empty tomb and a messenger who tells them that Jesus is waiting for them in Galilee…They flee in terror and confusion and tell no one….

Did the resurrection really happen? I can’t answer that question for a science textbook. But I can boldly proclaim Jesus alive and moving in the world by the evidence of lives lived, then and now. The ending of the Gospel of Mark is really a beginning: the women DID go and tell others—that is how we know their story. A band of disciples who had scattered out of fear and confusion, quivering behind locked doors after abandoning their teacher and master Jesus, DID come back together and founded what became the church. They did this despite alienation from their communities, dire persecution from the same entities that crucified Jesus, and their own confusion and disbelief at Jesus’ empty tomb. They did this because they came to see the resurrected Christ in their lives, in the most unexpected of places.

Last week, as I prepared for Holy Week (e.g. six sermons in eight days), I read a stunning essay from one who is in the process of finding resurrection in the midst of a challenged life. A recent signpost in his search is the embrace of God’s freely given grace which is always present but which is so hard to claim. Devin’s testimonial seemed to me to resonate with the women in Mark who find the tomb empty—and to point to the hope and faith that changes lives. Alleluia indeed.

Jen+

You will find Devin’s post and other materials from Recovery Ministries of the Episcopal Church here episcopalrecovery.org. I contacted RMEC who contacted Devin to give us permission to use this essay on the Saint Andrew’s website.

Hi. I’m Devin. I’m Recovering Grace.

“ Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” — Matthew 11:28–29

Hi. I’m Devin, and I’m missing something.

I have been fighting to find recovery and I’m not there yet.

My battle with addiction has been relentless, leaving me frustrated and lost. It all began in 2019, a year marked by a difficult divorce, the loss of my dream job, and a forced departure from the city I loved. The reasons behind my addiction matter less now than the fact that it’s something I’ll carry with me for life. At this point I don’t care whether it’s a disease, a choice, a behavior or genetic predisposition that is activated by environment. I want to find peace.

Addiction is insidious. The little maniacal voice inside my head pushes me toward using, weaving a web of lies.

“You’re alone on a Friday night. All your friends are out having fun. You could use and no one would know.”

False. They found out.

“COVID gives you the perfect excuse to be alone, to use, and to hide your come down. You can quit once the lockdown is lifted.”

False. I couldn’t.

“Tell them you don’t feel well. Your face is red because of a sunburn. You’re sweating bullets in January due to new medication.”

All lies. People eventually figured it out, and even if they didn’t, shame weighed me down.

In just four years, I’ve had hospital stays, spent thousands on my habit, ruined relationships, lost friends, and watched my goals crumble. I’ve been through rehab twice, changed cities, and missed loved ones’ life milestones. My family is at their wit’s end, and my vocation and career are in ruins. Most recently I lost my position at a job I viewed as a dream job. It was devastating.

The list of remedies and treatments I’ve tried is long, including meditation, medication, counseling, prayer, participation in various recovery programs, exercise, yoga, diet changes, adopting pets, changing social circles, journaling, and more. Despite my efforts, I haven’t been able to stop… yet.

So, what’s missing?

I’ve been forgetting about Grace.

I am saved by grace alone.

I can’t earn my way to recovery. Recovery happens when I have the courage to stop the cycle of self-deprecation and embrace that, in the eyes of God, I am already whole and loved.

Grace means recognizing that everything we have is a gift from God, from our first breath to our intellect, our nourishment, and life itself. “Give us today our daily bread.” God gives us what we need to sustain our lives. There is nothing, NOTHING that already has not been given. This revelation didn’t come from a meeting, book, or workshop; it came from loving churches, participation in the rites and sacraments of the Church, and mostly ordinary people extending God’s grace to me.

I’ve always been a member of a church that taught me I’m a beloved child of God, no questions asked. So, who am I to judge myself otherwise? My journey to sobriety is now about working alongside God to mold and transform my life, making Christ more visible through sacrament, repentance, learning, serving, forgiving, and accepting the unearned love that is God’s grace.

At this point in my journey, I am unwilling to identify with my brokenness when something better insists that my brokenness is nothing but the cross on which I will find grace.

I’ve wanted to try this for a while now: to use the tools of my faith — scripture, tradition, and reason — to discover the wholeness that was already gifted to me. I want to explore how a deeper internalization and acceptance of the grace present in Baptism, Communion, Repentance, Anointing of the Sick, etc. is the same grace that will lead to long term sobriety. I want to use the “grace tools” to allow me to live my saved and “recovered” potential that was not earned by me or by anyone’s tough love except Christ’s.

I want to dive head first, reaffirming and feeling love that is at the forefront of everything in the cosmos. I want to accept it not because I earned it, but because it’s been there for my acceptance all along. I want to accept it so I can more fully embody what God has and always will desire for me. I want to help others do similarly.

I suppose that addiction will be the heaviest cross I’ll ever carry. However, crosses aren’t tools of death; they are the means of finding life.

Hi. I’m Devin, a Beloved Child of God.

Rev. Jen has set her office drop-in day as Wednesday of each week from 9:30 – 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 – 3:30 p.m. for anyone who would like to stop in and visit. You are always invited to make an appointment for a time convenient for you. Mondays are her Sabbath day.

Sunday Morning In-Person Worship Service, Sunday, April 7, led by the Rev. Dr. Jennifer Oldstone-Moore, 10:15 a.m. You can stream the service via St. Andrew’s Facebook Page. Click on this link to view the Live Stream. We will start the Live Stream 5 minutes prior to the start of the service.

Click here for the service booklet for April 7.

ADVENT HOUSE UPDATE!

Per Brian Cox, our Advent House community project is exciting and making great headway. The bathroom and new stairs are completed, and lighting is finished. We now need your help to clean and paint the upstairs bedrooms and hallway. Join us, whether as a family or individual, for some good old fashioned fun. No painting expertise necessary; all supplies will be provided in the room. Let’s come together and make a difference for our St. Andrew’s family and community. We’d like to have all of this completed very soon if at all possible.

Click here to sign up.

TUESDAY BIBLE STUDY

Most weeks, the Tuesday Bible and Book group meet at 4:30 p.m. We are currently reading Debie Thomas, “Into the Mess.” On these Tuesdays, there is a service of Evening Prayer beginning at 4:00 p.m. Don’t be afraid to join in even if you come late!

NON-FOOD PANTRY UPDATE

110 families were served at the last distribution on Saturday, March 30. The numbers continue to rise each month. The next distribution will be Saturday, April 27. This outreach can always use your help. If you’d like to help in any way on Thursdays for product pick-up or Saturdays for the actual distribution, please contact Fred Vallowe or Harriet Moore. Distributions are on the last Saturday of the month.

THIS WEEK’S SHOPPING LIST FOR NON-FOOD PANTRY

Please add Adult Pull-Ups Size Large, 4 and 5 year old Children’s Pull-Ups, and boxes of Laundry Sheets to your shopping list for the NFP for the month of April. The laundry sheets are more popular and desirable especially for the older folk as they are much easier to handle than the bottles of liquid. Meals and conversation in Hamilton Hall are going well. Patrons are now able to pick out items they most need. Your contributions help our budget go farther in helping meet the needs of those in Putnam County. The next Non-Food Pantry will be Saturday, April 27 from noon – 2:00 p.m. Please let us know if you are able to help out in any way. FYI: Baskets at church are now dedicated for the NFP and not the food pantry.

LOOSE PLATE SUNDAY COLLECTIONS

Monies in the loose plate collection on the 2nd Sunday of each month normally go towards Rev. Jen’s Discretionary Fund used to help the less fortunate in Putnam County, but this month all loose plate collections for all Sundays will go towards the Summer Enrichment Program.

FREE DAILY DEVOTIONAL

We have some large print Day by Day daily devotionals in the sanctuary that you are free to take home for your personal devotions–and if we know that people would like copies, we can order the right amount. Many of you may also appreciate the on-line version of Day to Day. Click here.

ON-GOING COVID PROTOCOL

We continue to respond to both our county’s current CDC designation and to the current variant. Masking is optional. Decisions on COVID policy have moved from the Reconvening Committee to Rev. Jen and the Wardens.

We have heard that the daily reflections and scripture readings provided during Lent were appreciated. The meditations are written by persons from Gobin UMC and Beech Grove UMC. They will be in the newsletter each week and go from Wednesday to Tuesday, except for Sunday. Whether you enjoy these every day or as the Spirit moves you, may this resource continue to bring you spiritual food for the journey. Blessings!

Click here to view the readings and accompanying links.

Your prayers are asked for: